like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
