A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Randomize
