I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
