can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
