last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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