I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Someone came in the potted fern
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
