im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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