Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
