I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Randomize
