let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
