Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I didn't notice because vodka
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
