question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize