My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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