I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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