wat bout pragnant strippers??
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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