Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
