i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Who died my cat blue again?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
