I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
