are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
