She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
