Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
