I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
