i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
