girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
