I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
