Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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