I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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