Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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