i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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