I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He passed out mid-signature
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
