So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
