Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
