Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
