Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
