pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize