is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
