ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
