Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize