I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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