i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
