I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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