You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
