Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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