I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
