also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Randomize
