It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize