Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
