I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
never play flip cup with pint glasses
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We are two peas in an std pod
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
These tits shall not be calmed
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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