how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
