I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
