i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
