Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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