Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize