Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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