Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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