Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
