I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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