He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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