He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You had me at "let me see your balls"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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