Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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