She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
