I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
