Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize