Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
