I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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