no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
