Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
