Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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