My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
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I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
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we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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